I am so scared that we will drift apart permanently. Military Quotes .. My boyfriend is in the army and we started dating long distance 3 months before he left for Poland for 9 months. thank you so much for writing this!! I’m about ready to go through my senior year of highschool- the stress is building. Did any of you deal with something like this, being that you’re military wives? In the civilian community, people wouldn’t dream of constantly reminding you of “your place.”. during basic and I though when she graduated and went into AIT, she would call. Be strong and remember that every day that passes your one day closer to seeing your souldier. It’s gives you something to do and keeps your mind off the distance. Hi, my name is Jess and me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now. But what I have problems with the most is all the women he deals with and talk to on daily basis he’s recruiting. He is currently in Iraq on his 10th mission. We talk all the time, every day bit we have never met each other. I’m really new to this. Or just a break-up? Even now, almost 3 months past basic, it’s still a new-ish adjustment and there’s not really a lot of support for anyone who isn’t either a spouse or a family member. I have been with my army boyfriend for almost a year and we have been struggling with finding a solution to the problem of finding I career I want because I definitely don’t want to be a housewife either. He is soon to be stationed and we are unsure where. Sending warm thoughts and hugs :)…. My family and friends are not supportive of us. Hello my name is Brittany and I am currently in relationship with an Air Force Recruiter. I don’t have many friends out here, so it’s interesting to read the other comments and gain some insight and perspective. Since he is still in boot camp, I have been writing letters every night to send to him. Give the relationship at least a year before making plans for your future. I started talking to my solider before he left for basic and started out as friends and it bloomed from there. It’s very discouraging obviously but it would really be nice if I can get some encouragement rather than that. Serving your country is not a 9-5 job. My loving boyfriend and I dating for almost a month, we both experienced unto past traumas or disappointments realationships. You guys got this! I’m just ready for him to come home. So naturally, i shied away from him—but when he messaged me.. i couldn’t ignore his messages. I knew I loved him very early on in our relationship and he told me about 8 months in verse my 5 months. And is having a lot of doughts, but we knew what we were going to face if we dated and now it’s getting even more real because deployment is happening soon. I am also a Military girlfriend. I am a strong woman that can handle many situations. I started dating my man three weeks before he started ramping up his pre-deployment training for a 6-month tour in April. I miss him a lot and have thought about transferring to a college in Hawaii to be closer to him. Over the past six months, he has offered things and said he would do several things but he never comes through on any of it….He told me when we first met that their weren’t any other women and that his life revolved around his job….I can deal with him being gone but I can’t deal with someone who doesn’t follow through on their word. The article was great thought and very encouraging. His mother doesn’t like me, she doesn’t seem to even like him. I geniunely don’t know what to and I feel so alone in the way that I am feeling. I can’t wait until May when I can go down for him graduation. My name is Erin and I am extremely thankful for everyone’s service and/or your family member’s service! Obviously I am not in the same state emotionally and mentally as a wife would be, but it has been hard, really really hard and I appreciate someone validating my position. When he was around… it was 1000% attention… and he always asked what made me happy. Thank you again. Yes, I’m very young of age, but I just need advice from women who are and habe gone through this. I miss him so much already and I just want to be able to talk to him everyday again, but I have to wait 8 weeks for that. Things you could do is take up hobbies (knitting, for one, is a cheap hobby you can teach yourself), hang out more with friends, invest yourself more in work, or reorganize your living space every once in a while. Like you said, we need friends who understand and can support each other! He said he is more picky on dating and meeting new people becaused of he’s past. I worry when I do not hear anything from him. He’s a Marine in CA, I live in the midwest with a special needs child. I was also with my boyfriend every day until he left. Leaving him because you don’t think you’re strong enough will not help him, or you. I don’t know what to do. She left recently in June and is returning in a few days. I’m just unsure of where to go from here. It’s hard to see where I fit in as a civilian girlfriend. Julia, how did you make long distance work with both of you being in service? He is about to leave for a month and half for more training before deployment. I feel weird calling myself a military girlfriend and being proud of that because right now, I am just a girlfriend. My boyfriend Mando, is in the marines. Anyways since then I have two sons their fathers are not involved. but I guess I am just one of the weak ones, who fell too far into a deep hole, that only the touch of another man could bring me out of. Wed make little trips to visit each other. He always tries to help me out. Our story isn’t typical but we are committed. We’re exactly in the same boat. We started dating about 4 months ago but we have known each other for 7 years already. It’s been really hard for me to cope. He comes home in October and I am really nervous about seeing him. Give the relationship at least a year before making plans for your future. I am nervous with going back to no phone use a lot. I understand his job is his top priority, and I’m not but I still feel like he could update me on how he is doing instead of goofing on social media… is that too selfish of me? I’m a widow. Thanks!! How to make it easier? Take time to cultivate your own dreams and passion. There will be challenges and day to day frustrations and at times it can be overwhelming, but with a group of people that truly support one another in a healthy empowering way it can be an incredible experience. Was that what it was like for your boyfriend? We were just able to see each other for the first time in 5 months a few weeks ago. Finally, he told me his feelings and told me if I find someone else, he would understand. And what do I need to do to cope with the distance and lack of communication ? I dont know whats happening there to him a week now.He did not call me but he just texting me.And I just think he is busy at work but why he cant call me when he is home,and I think again that he is tired☹️.I dont know what to do Maam. My boyfriend and i talk about marriage, however my mother lent him money so he is able to get things done so he can join. Sorry for being such a downer everyone, but I am feeling entirely lost. I know I’m just the girlfriend & I don’t expect to be entitled, to anything but to this person who I love & respect. Any advice? I’ve woken up every morning crying since I’ve had to say goodbye to him. He goes straight to training from Boot Camp so I might not be able to see him for 8 months and I really need help. I already found useful tips to help my spouse. It stresses me out that when he deploys I don’t have a right to know if something happens to him, and I won’t be notified. And unfortunately I dont have the best relationship with her. He has been out training in the field with his company and a couple others doing all of the preparations for if he was to get deployed (I think it sucks and it scares me because he is an infantry unit)… I understand he is training and he can’t talk but when I go on Facebook and see he is posting stuff in there or he is active on other social media and doesn’t even let me know he is okay it is frustrating. Lived and survived it!! I’m also not close with the other military spouses and my friends don’t understand what it’s like. After bootcamp he will be across the country for a year for language training and then he will be positioned somewhere else for 4 years to do his job. So any other military girlfriends or wives in WA state hit me up! My boyfriend will have over 20 credit hours next year on top of clubs, sports and military duties. I can’t see myself with anyone else! Thank you in advance!! Honestly, from someone who grew up in the military… some do that. I’m just looking for encouragement and hoping that I’m not as crazy as I may seem. I just want to send some warm thoughts and hugs your way. I don’t want to worry him…but I also know that doing that to myself is not good for me. Days passing by, Am ashamed to say but I have something special feelings for him that i couldn’t handled it throughout the days. He lives at fort benning for training and I’m in Wisconsin finishing my degree. None of my friends really understand. I’d love any advice I can get! Since I’m not American, I have no context of how demanding a military job can be in terms of time spent at work, so I would appreciate any insight. They lack character and morals. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly six years now and we have been doing the military life for the last year and a half. Military spouses (: I'm a freshman in college, but I want to transfer to a school near where he will be stationed. It won’t happen for at least another year but I’m concerned he might take it. Any advice or helpful tips would be greatly appreciated. Are we able to visit them at all? Ya’ll are strong women. It is easy to tell that the things he had experienced were not pleasant, but it has made him into the amazing man he is today. It will all come back and maybe just takes a little more time for some than others. We were talking and having a great time on the phone one day and then right after he texted and called it off and said he lied and is not in the military. Hello! He and I have even talked about getting married, and I have not given it a second thought. My long term girlfriend and I both have intentions of joining the army. Hi, my name is Keiarra and I am a new military girlfriend as well. I want more pros, can someone help me? Not always in a bad way, but it is important to remember what they are going through. However, the hardest part is seeing how he has become so cold (he is a Marine) and we aren’t communicating as we used to.. I don’t know what to do… any advice on figuring out my future with him? Some days it’s hard when I miss him and how the Navy changed him a bit and communication gets hard to have because we get to talk but when we get to FaceTime is big because of our schedules and how busy he is! My first one was with a man in the Navy. I don’t know really why this started happening and I really want to know how I can make it stop because I know my boyfriend enjoys those movies and I want to enjoy them with him. Any advice on that? This is a tough choice we make as women, but a choice well with it for the men we love. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for about 9 months but it feels like i have known him all my life. I spend my days re-heating coffee while chasing my kids around the house. The military can take you many places and for Jordan and Chloee Carlson of Plymouth, Minnesota, it’s taking them... A pilot, his new bride, and their photographer scrambled for this once and a life shot of the Blue... © Copyright 2021 Military.com. If your relationship moves to marriage, you will need to be independent and have much self-determination. My bf is in the navy and just got deployed yesterday but haven’t seen him since early Saturday morning since he’s stationed in Cali and i live in Florida. I’ve never felt the way I do when I’m with him before so everything is very new to me. I would also add that military members should help in making that experience positive for girlfriends and boyfriends alike. It sounds like what you have got with James is really special. email me. Can anyone give some insight on this and send some prayers our way please? Hoping someone on here understands. I am so scared of it all. I just feel so empty without him. Is it happily ever after ? I don’t know if I could deal with not hearing from him for months on end. Same as Carmen, I get it! It isn’t encouraging to know there is so much support available. Any help is appreciated. 735 likes. Just being apart for four months has been really hard and since he’s been home for Christmas it’s really showed us both how much we don’t want to be apart again. There will be challenges and day to day frustrations and at times it can be overwhelming, but with a group of people that truly support one another in a healthy empowering way it can be an incredible experience. He’s in the military’s special forces. I am doing a degree currently,and that takes most my time. He says he doesn’t want to hold me back and he wants me to be happy but he makes me happy. I want to move to El Paso with him to be closed and be a home for each other but we both don’t want to tie the knot until he’s out of active service. While the military will always throw a monkey wrench in any best-laid plans, your career doesn't have to be one of them. I encourage you to pray for him often, love him through it and stay focused on your goals as well. we had to agree that we would not be married until he has been home from whatever depolyment he was going on for a year. Stay strong and believe in yourself. This is what he wants to do but..I need advice. I am in the exact same situation. Thank you for the article, it has really opened my eyes.